"The Banjo Swing" Rambling Steve Gardner 12/2012

[Rambling Steve Gardner]

I'm UP EARLY...I was buzzzzing like a saw mill when I discovered two cleaning guys coming through my door with a pass key but not a peep as to WHO they were or what they wanted. I sprang from my bed with more clatter than Santa coming down the chimney in “The Night Before Christmas”, raising holly hell and looking for my bat---the only thing handy to swing at them was my banjo.

Before I could pound them with an old time rendition of "Git Along Home, Cindy,Cindy" or smack them with "Old Suzanna" they hit the door like a pair of shop lifters being chased by a doberman with steel dentures. 

I chased after them up the  stairs where they cowered and howled from the top of the stairwell. I threatened them with some clogging to be followed by a round of  hambone body percussion. Not to mention a few bars of "Dulling Banjos". They begged for mercy after I strummed a few more open chords.

After more hot words followed by a lot of bowing we finally got things somewhat worked out. Who would have ever thought that the banjo, being the trump card weapon of chance and choice, would also be the Henry Clay of compromise and negotiation!  Just a few stray chords plucked in the face of conflict brings an opponent to their knees and makes grown me cry! My, my,my!

Time to pop open another jug of that mountain dew and maybe even open up a "pest" control service! I gota do something before those jokers return with their own out of tune musical instruments with the idea to get even with me.

SO, with my banjo in had I ask, “Have you got pesky maintenance men barging through the door without warning or noisy neighbours who can't tell time and tend to tap dance on the ceiling at all hours of the day or night?” “Have I got a deal for you!” 

 

“Twang!” “Twang!” “Twang!”  

Gets 'em every time.